abcd and then they were including Fado which healed my soul
this the day crying and even as a transgender being who is perceived as a woman i in this politic enter and mantle accept. as marriage i enter or dating or new hope coming, under the snow so safe our dreams lie sleeping as a
Minnesotan refugee, yes that is my people in the matrix of solidarity life they take and I
weave their culture into my mantle, the timothy.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
next chapter
next chapter belongs to those with lost souls
because on this abundant earth nobody is ever lost. we are kicked out, and banished, and
exiled from our very feet, and we belong, because in fact we have never not belonged. this here web, it's a little out of synch so
maybe we don't feel it
maybe we never feel it in our whole entire lifetime but
it's there,
our place, wandering some lands, fitting us perfectly, and then flying back up and away
because on this abundant earth nobody is ever lost. we are kicked out, and banished, and
exiled from our very feet, and we belong, because in fact we have never not belonged. this here web, it's a little out of synch so
maybe we don't feel it
maybe we never feel it in our whole entire lifetime but
it's there,
our place, wandering some lands, fitting us perfectly, and then flying back up and away
Things I love about the Christmas party
How my nation spoke to me eloquently
after I took Mirzara's hand, and we went
dancing through the universe
The envy of every lost soul worker we see, you see, because this is what I Am,
I can stand for it so total, just
keep paying attention
the ancestors are whispering stories and stories.
after I took Mirzara's hand, and we went
dancing through the universe
The envy of every lost soul worker we see, you see, because this is what I Am,
I can stand for it so total, just
keep paying attention
the ancestors are whispering stories and stories.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
classism
...Circle round.
there are spaces
dutch society looks so
equal opportunity
you start to think why haven't you got a middleclass career
like
talking to the public mental health service/these people understand so much more when your voice is literal, explanatory, free of rebellion's shrill but i
came into this world understanding class exile/understood resistance as orientation meant my whole survival and translates to all the
chaotic dimension shifts of their chaotic dumping/file it under
poor unfit
wretch and bastard
yeah whatup?
there are spaces
dutch society looks so
equal opportunity
you start to think why haven't you got a middleclass career
like
talking to the public mental health service/these people understand so much more when your voice is literal, explanatory, free of rebellion's shrill but i
came into this world understanding class exile/understood resistance as orientation meant my whole survival and translates to all the
chaotic dimension shifts of their chaotic dumping/file it under
poor unfit
wretch and bastard
yeah whatup?
Friday, November 14, 2008
some people from my past used to get along with me fine time goes by we reconnect and they have no attention for me lori maggi chris i think why arent they happy for me now that i seem to have found my way i used to be so lost and confused about life and living in this world
but now it's starting to dawn on me there is something about my learning that threatens them and there was something in them that was perfectly fine with me being kept down. life is a travel in a landscape and the grandness of it all is becoming clear and the grandness of it all is more than people can imagine. i guess it's fine this way. me knowing is more important than them knowing. it's just so weird to me, a gender dissonance in it's own right, that these positive people are so negative in this way. it makes me feel sad and desperate because i depended on these people to make a healthy self esteem for myself when i was overwhelmed with sexist and classist oppression in my soul. class activism is such an important basis to understanding transgender stuff without going loony, and feminism, that should go without saying. it's just too bad that some folks come to feminism or whatever and can't push any farther than that. what is this, am i the dominant now? now that i have more stretchiness to my consciousness? that's very weird. i'm going to have to think about that. sometime.
but now it's starting to dawn on me there is something about my learning that threatens them and there was something in them that was perfectly fine with me being kept down. life is a travel in a landscape and the grandness of it all is becoming clear and the grandness of it all is more than people can imagine. i guess it's fine this way. me knowing is more important than them knowing. it's just so weird to me, a gender dissonance in it's own right, that these positive people are so negative in this way. it makes me feel sad and desperate because i depended on these people to make a healthy self esteem for myself when i was overwhelmed with sexist and classist oppression in my soul. class activism is such an important basis to understanding transgender stuff without going loony, and feminism, that should go without saying. it's just too bad that some folks come to feminism or whatever and can't push any farther than that. what is this, am i the dominant now? now that i have more stretchiness to my consciousness? that's very weird. i'm going to have to think about that. sometime.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
On Catharsis of Political Critical Thought
That time I was with Sarah and Monique at Monique's house and the carousel turned turned around
It was time to reveal my story because things were ceremonial and pretty and good
even if lies
we'll get to that.
I told the story about how my mom was a veteran of the Civil Rights Movement.
I told that I had inherited the work. Enough sacred speech. Let's sit back and see whether Sarah will grab the football and throw it into the wood chipper like "...and a day will come, when you will just let all of that glide right off!"
It was time to reveal my story because things were ceremonial and pretty and good
even if lies
we'll get to that.
I told the story about how my mom was a veteran of the Civil Rights Movement.
I told that I had inherited the work. Enough sacred speech. Let's sit back and see whether Sarah will grab the football and throw it into the wood chipper like "...and a day will come, when you will just let all of that glide right off!"
Monday, October 06, 2008
Protestants
It helps to see my location in a matrix of Protestantism.
Martin Luther was a step in a decolonialist direction, and then all the Protestant culture after that became very factional and neurotic and perfectionistic, which can be seen as a guilt reaction after the initial impulse of decolonization.
There are also the stable Protestants who harbor lots of contemporary colonial attitudes.
We are where we are eh? I am where I am. It's not like it is an ahistorical place.
History is good at keeping you from getting lonely when you are marginalized. You have to develop the habit of it, though. The initial toning is indeed painful.
Addendum: Maybe this blog is finally giving me a chance to clear up my blockages around A Prairie Home Companion and it's service in storytelling in this cultural arena. Certainly the conflict is about the sold outedness of the thing and the racist and the sexist perpetuations, included in the malt o meal mixture like it's some kind of anti censorship heroism or traditionalism. Bah.
Addendum 2: Before some emotional vamp decides to get into the whole blockages drill, uh, no, I was not referring to some catharsis of political critical thought that abusers of therapy can sometimes advocate. What I was thinking was like this- this blog is a successful inroad into doing the work I have formerly relied upon PHC to do, for myself, so I do not have to sacrifice it quite so much for the sake of race and sex balance. That felt like the clearing of a blockage around understanding this history.
Martin Luther was a step in a decolonialist direction, and then all the Protestant culture after that became very factional and neurotic and perfectionistic, which can be seen as a guilt reaction after the initial impulse of decolonization.
There are also the stable Protestants who harbor lots of contemporary colonial attitudes.
We are where we are eh? I am where I am. It's not like it is an ahistorical place.
History is good at keeping you from getting lonely when you are marginalized. You have to develop the habit of it, though. The initial toning is indeed painful.
Addendum: Maybe this blog is finally giving me a chance to clear up my blockages around A Prairie Home Companion and it's service in storytelling in this cultural arena. Certainly the conflict is about the sold outedness of the thing and the racist and the sexist perpetuations, included in the malt o meal mixture like it's some kind of anti censorship heroism or traditionalism. Bah.
Addendum 2: Before some emotional vamp decides to get into the whole blockages drill, uh, no, I was not referring to some catharsis of political critical thought that abusers of therapy can sometimes advocate. What I was thinking was like this- this blog is a successful inroad into doing the work I have formerly relied upon PHC to do, for myself, so I do not have to sacrifice it quite so much for the sake of race and sex balance. That felt like the clearing of a blockage around understanding this history.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Embarrasing but True
It seems the general tone of the times is "de fluffycization"! ;)
Aw damn uh.
hmm hmm
Aw damn uh.
hmm hmm
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